During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize