no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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