Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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