Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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