I can text with my tongue
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
