Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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