Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
