yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
