D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
