So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
