you would pick up someone in the library
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
