In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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