i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
