Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent