I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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