So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..