she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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