well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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