i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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