every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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