you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
