As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
