hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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