So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
