FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
