3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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