I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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