i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
