i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
