I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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