Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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