in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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