There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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