how can u be prego again
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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