You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
