my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
