I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
