put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
