saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
