My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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