I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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