Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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