Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
