Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
