when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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