I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i out mim tonsoeep
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