Ambien. No doubt about it.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The air taste purple.
Randomize
