and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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