____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
