Girls should come with a carfax report
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
