You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same