Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds