My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
