remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
