Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
