The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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