That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
