Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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