I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This girl is more easily done than said...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
