You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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